It was a CRY of PANIC from the EDGE of the ABYSS of SELF-CONDEMNATION.
At this very moment, are you filled with MASSIVE self-condemnation? Could you not even imagine that God would forgive you after what you have done?
Have you ever said “Well, I’ve never received the Holy Spirit because I’m not Holy enough yet, I haven’t gotten my life in order yet, I don’t know enough of the Bible yet.” And so we miss the Holy Spirit because we believe that He will be given only to those who are adequate. Not true. God chose David when he was the LEAST adequate. Youngest of the sons of Jesse. Not adequate in his human potential at all apart from the Holy Spirit. We need to get it out of our minds that someday we’ll be good enough to deserve the Holy Spirit.
To any of you here who are actively fighting against God and Country, do not believe that it is too late for you to turn it around. You are not beyond redemption. You are not irredeemable. Jesus loves you and is knocking.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZ8dD7N02fc