Sorry for your loss anon.
You are an eternal being, as is she. You'll see her again, although you'll both appear quite different, at least, after a transition period.
Anon has studied near-death experiences.
We're currently a shadow of our 4th (and higher) dimensional selves.
As another anon suggested, "we're in a nightmare" which makes a lot of sense; we're told as children that we are sleeping, that song "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" with the lyric, "life is but a dream". However, we can't just decide to wake up. We're given nightmares "while here" showing this to us.
Anon has died in dreams, so am certain that "dying in a dream means you die in real life" is bunk.
Good luck to you anon, you are never alone even if it feels it sometimes.
God bless in Jesus name.