I've made some unimaginably-stupid decisions over the last couple months (I'm losing count of the arrests and logic-defying releases) and/or God's plan for my future is nothing like what a expected or wanted. Nevertheless, I'm so thankful for my freedom and opportunity to still shape a new life. Would taking what I would have thought to be an unimaginable job working at a McDonald's in a strange town where I don't know anyone, still living out of my car (over 3 weeks now), be another big mistake or would it be the most stabilizing choice I could make? The position I have found myself in is surreal.
Wish I better knew what this meant and. literally what to do next/day-to-day.
Their employment ads say they do.
I need too findd a stable roof overhead. Living in a vehicle for weeks roaming wide swaths of country has me mentally shaky to say the least. Hope your "Rent free" comments don't portend "no end in sight."
>>just 50%
Maybe they're more desperate now.
Felt prior I was supposed to be on an Indian reservation in a different area code, so maybe signs I'm seeing to do this are wrong.
Why are SO MANY COMMS you're seeieng when attempting to make big decisions of a DUALITY nature? THEY CAN USUALLY GO EITHER WAY!!!
Like "did what I just saw mean I'll be stuck if I DO STAY HERE or if I DON'T STAY HERE?" Or did what someone said at 11:22:55am that seemed to relate to me mean JFK death to me in a BAD WAY or some kind of GOOD WAY (of like "killing off my old life and staring anew?).
I've so often seemed to draw the WRONG CONCLUSION. God help me (very truly requested)
I do exactly this and more multiple times every day. I ask Him to take complete charge of my whole body, my life, my decisions, my motor-skills, my ideas and NEVER to be merely my co-pilot, but my full-on pilot, because I am absolutely NOTHING without Him and will get it ALL WRONG without Him fully expressing His will through my every move. He's gotten me out of some jams that I can't remotely understand how/why I got myself into following what I perceived to be pretty strong comms, but after-the-fact seemed absolutey delusional. Then I look at the symbolism of those crazy actions and think they might all be combining for some huge shift of intention/purpose/position for my life.
>When you are at your most humble, is when God is closest to you.
I've never been even CLOSE to this humbled inn all my life. I think I've been arrested (or close) 7 times in the last 32 days. In different countries now! They each shook the earth beneath my feet, but all along I saw WILD and FANTASTIC comms that it would end with my release.
>in green pastures
>and all the green grass was burned up.
Is it Pepe green? What is that color supposed to represent/derived from?
>Butdo nothave any dishonesty in your heart when you say that prayer.
I'm not even sure HOW someone could think they'd be dishonest with God? Like He wouldn't know??? I guess I see solid signs giving guidance but I don't know how literally to take them. Like something happens at a very specific sight… does it mean I'mm supposed to make my home/living lilterally there or is it thematic? I have SOOOOO much to learn and feeel I have so little time before I must get better grounded… running out of MONEY for one. Living onn the road is EXPENSIVE.
>$0.05 a bale for hauling hay,
Anon recently spent $11,000 on bale/bail/Ba'al of a cost-of-freedom kind. You think you have a cushion and then you start listening to "comms" that tell you to do crazy and it'll be fine.
>The greatest challenge while on this narrow path that you are on is to TRUST and BELIEVE ONLY.
It gets marginally easier the more you see of the miraculous escapes, but the flesh/logic/realm-of-the-natural are constantly battling one's faith. Officers are confused and their computers mysteriously break-down right before they discover something about you. "Why is NCIC not working?" Anon knows. Sort of.
BTW, being "favored" feels pretty much the opposite thereof. It feels like being thrust into an almost literal hell on earth. I had a home, I was comfortable, I wasn't running from the law… I'm over 50 now with almost no money, lost my house to foreclosure, living in a rental vehicle which is essentially stolen (unpaid/disappeared) at this point, running from a years-long prison threat.
"favored"
But yeah, I might slightly get it. Being "comfortable" is the enemy of being reliant on God.
>"wilderness journey."
eating manna for a literall 40 years will only put me at 91 years of age, so that'd be good, kek.
Thank you. Truly.
Does this wilderness journey preclude me fromm finding an actual roof over my head that isn't on wheels? Anon would kill for a sleezy, cockroach-ridden, dirty motel room with carpet and paint older than a buffalo nickel as a home at this point. I imagine one of those would take a birth cert and cash (no credit cards) but kinda wonder if I'm meven allowed such opulence. So confusing to know why steps/symbolism are aligned with the purpose of this journey.
>Drop your internet plan
Everything tells me I'mm supposed to get rid of my only working phone anyway, so maybe it's time. Can't imagine living out of car AND no phone/connection to anyone or anything, but maybe that's where the power rests.
Library reminds anon of a casino where anon aabused the parking garage. Now see, it's "comms" like this, in assoc with others, that make me think "am I supposed to go try to get a job at THAT God-forsaken place?" I never know how literally to take anything. "Green Mile" movie associations there too… just what anon on the run from the law wants to see.