Oprah Winfrey Goes to GITMO
Charged with treason, accessory to mass murder, conspiracy to influence an election outcome, aiding and abetting the enemy, and other high crimes and misdemeanors, talk show host Oprah Winfrey has been an inmate at Guantanamo Bay since early December, a source at GITMO.
According to an arrest brief reviewed by RRN, U.S. Navy JAG investigators on December 3 apprehended the obese creature while she was in Los Angeles to visit a friend, television personality Gayle King, a broadcast journalist for CBS News. Investigators intercepted a limousine holding Winfrey and her chauffeur near The Getty, an American & European art museum off Interstate 405 in northwest LA, and forcibly removed them from the vehicle.
The chauffeur had locked the doors and sealed the windows. Winfrey was on her cellphone, screaming frantically into the mic, “Help me! Please help me! You said this wouldn’t happen.” With batons the investigators shattered the windows, then unlocked the doors and dragged the plump woman and her driver from the limo. When the chauffeur reached inside his jacket for what investigators assumed was a gun, one investigator discharged his weapon twice, striking the chauffeur in the neck and head and killing him. Winfrey was on the ground shrieking at the top of her lungs, “I’m Oprah Winfrey! I’m Oprah Winfrey,” as the investigators zip-tied her swollen wrists. They heaved her and the corpse into the limousine, which the investigators hijacked to dispose of the chauffeur’s body and bring Winfrey to a JAG detainment facility.