>most never get in touch with that darker part of themselves out of fear or cowardice or just the idea that everything should be pollyanna
Oddly, my personal realization, that I had been a "monster", came shortly after I started sleeping (CPAP).
Prior to, I always thought it was everyone else which constantly pissed me off.
The sleep allowed for/triggered automatic mental correction.
Sometimes correcting one's health can show you what you are or (in my case) what I was.