I still don‘t understand why Im alive here on earth and who I‘m supposed to meet. It seems to me that human existence is built in the paradigm that you have to be miserable 80% of the time and force yourself to do things you‘d rather not do to ward off starving and have maybe 20% of enjoyable time. If I wanted that experience I‘d play a shitty Asiam Gacha Video Game. Whoever built this world did a shit job.
Around 2018-2019 I seriously thought I was being recruited by white hats and some shit was going down. Looking back that just hijacked the last bit of my youthful enthusiasm and turned into paranoia and conspiracy. I was probably deep into psychosis and returned here because people could relate to the bullshit I was believing. Years later I realize that all this was just one further gay psyop by some faggot looking to make a buck, as it has been for milennia. Fuck me for believing this planet has actual magic and majestic experience to offer