Things I trust more than CNN:

Bill Cosby as a bartender

A rattlesnake with a "pet me" sign

An email from a Nigerian prince

An elevator ride with Ray Rice

Joe Biden as a babysitter

Captain Hook as a gynecologist

Wesley Snipes as a tax accountant

Hillary Clinton as a security chief

Michael Moore as a fitness/nutrition consultant

Ted Kennedy as a chauffeur

Stevie Wonder as a movie critic