Aw, tiny cowering powers still pretending to be:

Let me blow your little minds, it's so easy to do.

So, I’m sitting here wondering how Mary Magdalene managed to spirit Jesus’s body away to the hidden burial site she and Jesus had agreed upon when they both knew and accepted that he wasn’t coming home.

She gathered two of her closest friends, and after they wrapped the body, head to toe, in rags, they threw off their fine raiment and dressed as poor peasant women with one donkey pulling a sad cart between them.

They walked calmly through village and town until someone got close enough to ask who was in the cart.

“Leper,” said one of the friends.

The horrified guy screamed, “Leper, they got a leper there,” and everyone within earshot ran away.

Mary almost laughed, eyed her two amused friends, and whispered, “Worked better than he said it would.”

Worked a couple of more times, then some frightened piece of shit threw a rock and those girls found out how fast that donkey would travel.

You know, you can make the argument that the Romans had guards posted around the borrowed tomb where, coincidentally, Mary Magdalene was the one who discovered the rock was rolled away from the tomb.

In light of all the past examples of fine human nature, I posit the Romans did NOT post their best and brightest to Judea. Ever.

What if the rock had never been rolled into place? Who among those Roman guards will admit they dropped the ball? How many of those guards were even worried about a rebel named Jesus…until 400 years later when evil men, descendants of the synagogue of Satan, found a use for him.

God's will in all things.