>>20724423
i tried
rejected like john west, style
made me sad
think i will go eat a fish
Biden Puts New White House Cat In Charge Of Border Crisis
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a last-ditch effort to address the mounting immigration crisis on the U.S. southern border, President Biden has named Willow - the newest White House cat - as America's border czar.
"Everyone deserves a chance at this thing, folks," said Biden to a bust of Eleanor Roosevelt. "I already gave that black lady who claims to be my Vice President a chance, and she didn't do squat. I'm not even sure where she is. It's time someone else had a chance to solve this difficult problem. It's the cat's turn." Biden then leaned over and sniffed the Eleanor Roosevelt bust's bronze hair.
According to sources, Willow the grey short-hair tabby will be in charge of securing the border and finding somewhere to place the thousands and thousands of migrants.
ICE agents are currently placing catnip along the border fence in hopes Border Czar Willow - unlike Kamala - will actually pay them a visit.
https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-puts-white-house-cat-in-charge-of-border-crisis
White House Cat Already Tired Of Being Blamed For All These Accidents On Oval Office Carpet
WASHINGTON, D.C. - First Lady Jill Biden has announced that the White House has welcomed a new pet, a cat named Willow. Initial reports indicate that things are not going quite as planned from Willow's perspective, as she is blamed for all the messes on the Oval Office carpet.
"What on Earth is that foul odor in here?!" said Chief Of Staff Ronald Klain walking into the Oval Office. "It smells absolutely horrific!"
"Oh um, well see, that's just our uh new cat Willow," said Biden nervously trying to cover up the considerably large stain for a young kitten. "We've been trying to potty train her, but she just keeps having accidents. What can you do? Heh!"
Despite only living in the Oval Office for a few days, Willow has already been blamed for numerous "accidents" on the Oval Office carpet. Some of Willow's messes have even occurred when she wasn't even around the Oval Office that day.
Sources claim that while Willow was initially honored and excited about being the White House's First Feline Of The United States, the cat is now suspecting she's just there as a scapegoat.
At publishing time, Willow had somehow managed to ruin the carpet on Air Force One.
https://babylonbee.com/news/white-house-cat-already-tired-of-being-blamed-for-all-these-accidents-on-oval-office-carpet