>Walking home from party late one evening

>Several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing

>Try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as shit

>Catch me in some random college student neighborhood

>Oh shit, my ass is about to be beaten

>Still in talking phase

>Lights flick on in the house

>Three guys in full musketeer garb walk out

>Leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent

>"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver!"

>Guys start yelling at them to fuck off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten

>"Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard!"

>All three of them draw rapiers on their belts

>Guys run

>"I know not why those foul me sought our harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!"

>Spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics

>Bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there

>Blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident

>Stagger home completely drunk with a hat

I have no idea people like that exist. Or had the money to rent a house.