It's been magnificent being around all of you gentlemen and scholars.

Last night as I lay on my pillow,

Last night as I lay on my bed,

Last night as I lay on my pillow,

My mother makes beer in the bathtub,

My father makes synthetic gin,

My sister makes fudge for a quarter,

Wouldja believe how the money rolls in?

My mother, she drowned in the bathtub,

My father, he died from his gin,

My sister choked on her chocolate

Five o'clock in the morning

I'm already up and gone

Lord, I'm so tired

How long can this go on

But when Saturday rolls around

I'm too tired to have any fun

Going down, down, down

The radio is blastin', someone's knockin' at the door

I'm lookin' at my girlfriend - she's passed out on the floor

I seen so many things I ain't never seen before

You're not the only choo-choo train

That was left out in the rain the day after Santa came

Took her out and tried to win her

Had a laugh and over dinner

Told her I would really like to see her again

Got the bill and Rita paid it

I'll be waiting at the station

We'll have time for coffee flavored kisses

And a bit of conversation

Using my power, I sell it by the hour

I have it so I market it, you really can't afford it

I worked in the snow I worked in the rain

I laid the tracks never rode the train

Well, first of all

I couldn't even see his face

I couldn't see his face

He was holding a gun against me

Uhm… I was thinking

This is a dangerous place

Though your eyes

See shipwrecked sailors

You're still dry