I've found myself pretty miserable of late. I kinda wanna complain about it, but I realize that I only have myself to blame. Every decision I've ever made has brought me to this point, so no one is at fault but me. I'm a person of slightly above average intelligence, but I've always feigned myself to be smarter than I actually am. I have made horribly stupid decisions that have put me in a pretty tight spot at this point in my life and I'm not getting any younger or healthier or anything. I am just now getting to the point where I can even be honest with myself about all of this. Every day I'm running out of time but yet and still, day in and day out, I continue to put on a phony facade and pretend to be someone I'm not, pretend I'm content, pretend I like the people around me, and so on. It just goes on & on & on & I don't have the will or the energy or even the desire to stop it.