wonder what its going to be like to die.

I hope there's no reincarnation or hell. Same thing.

I wonder what it's like to be approved of.

I wonder what it's like to have people you can trust.

I wonder what it's like to have children. Grand children.

I wonder what it's like to have rights.

I wonder what it's like to be normal.

I wonder what it's like to laugh. I remember laughing. Or rather, I remember that I have laughed before. I remember that I have laughed until I could hardly stand it.

Hm. People on You Tube say its great to be dead. Wonder why the media and the government make it seem so terrible.

People who laugh seem like monkeys to me now. Even this board seems like all monkeys here.

When I first came here I had hopes. I thought I was onto something incredible. I thought I could be apart of something great.

I risked it all.

Have faith in humanity. Big mistake. I'm not a real human. I'm a freak. Not the kind you feel empathy for. A scumbag freak. The kind you are justified in detesting.

I wonder what it would be like if I wasn't a freak.

Or at least the kind of freak people have empathy for.

Everyone knows how this will end.

Just a matter of time.

It's like a prank. Like being Punked but without the reveal. That moment you find out it was all fake. That moment will never come.

Or like the show "I Shouldn't Be Alive" but when they come to rescue you, they just laugh and leave you to die.

I wonder what it's like to be popular. Successful. Approved of. I see it on "America's Got Talent". They look so overwhelmed. Hm.

I used to have buddies. I was part of a group. What I would give to go back and appreciate them more. Hm.

Hello monkey. I know at least two monkeys have to read this. Hi monkey. Gaslight me monkey.

Some say the universe is in the mind. What if that were true.

Would that mean that when I die, the universe is gone? I miss having dad to talk to. He was a real motherfucker. But now I realize he was my last friend. We could talk about that kinda shit for hours. Now I'm stuck in this prison all alone.

I wonder.

a lot.

anything is better than this. With my luck, I will be reincarnated into something worse though. Cant imagine it.

Some say space/time is not fundamental. We may be existing in some kind of simulation. That when we die, it's like taking off a vr headset.

I would like to see what kind of responses, if any there are to my dribble but the clowns got me gunshy.by now. Evil as you may be, you are admittedly much more sophisticated than myself.

I wonder what it's like to have hope. Dreams. Wonder is all I have. I suppose I should be thankful for that but I'm not. I wonder if I volunteered for this torture and I can take my headset off any time I want to. The universe would disappear and then everyone will laugh, pat me on the back and I would knock the living shit out of them.

This place has become the monkey kingdom. Clowns have to make sure there's no way for truth to get out. Who knows the psychology behind this head fuck.

Monkeys. Judged by monkeys. What a fun game.

Is it any wonder?

Is it any wonder.

Is it any wonder?

Is it any wonder?

This road is gon’ take us back now

You look so fine, I don’t know how to act now

They say “My child, don’t stroll off easy

‘Cause when it’s time, you gon’ hear what she said”

Is it any wonder?

Is it any wonder?

If you ever, leave me alone

I’ll be cryin’, wishin’ you’d come home

When I look in your eyes, I see you starin’ at me, girl

And when it’s time, I see you holdin’ on me, girl

‘Cause you, you got a hold on me, yeah

So I’m, gonna make you see, yeah

Aw yeah

Is it any wonder?

Is it any wonder?

Is it any wonder?

Is it any wonder?

When the sun goes down at night

Gon’ let you know that everything’s alright

Is it any wonder?

Is it any wonder?

Is it any wonder?

Is it any wonder?

I wonder who sees this.