Ethiopian Bible, yep.

Teacher in my church from 13-18, yep.

Water and blood from my abdomen, yes sir.

No belly button, nope.

Father had a vasectomy prior to me, yes indeed.

Mother named Ma'donna'. Scary.

All the rest is there too. Even the holes where they nailed me.

Do you think JC wants to see a cross ever again? Hell no.

That's how you know it's bullshit. A dude, nailed to wood, dead isn't an inspiration to the wicked, is it?