STURGE: 10 outrageous taxpayer-funded higher ed research projects DOGE can investigate
DOGE chiefs Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy can push Congress to launch a thorough investigation into these questionable expenditures, particularly federally funded research projects that push far-left ideologies.
Emily Sturge '25 | Florida Correspondent
December 5, 2024, 5:00 am ET
The House Education Committee on Education and the Workforce is set to work with the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) to “cut back waste” and “fraud” in higher education.
Much wasteful spending is happening on America’s college campuses. DOGE chiefs Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy can push Congress to launch a thorough investigation into these questionable expenditures, particularly federally funded research projects that push far-left ideologies.
Here are 10 outrageous examples of university studies funded by taxpayer dollars obtained by Campus Reform:
1. Gambling for Pigeons
The National Institute of Health (NIH) granted $465,339 to researchers at Reed College in Portland, Oregon to “create a token-based economy where pigeons are taught to gamble with slot machines.”
The study gave pigeons tokens that they can “earn, accumulate, spend, or gamble” on slot machines, the New York Post reports.
2. Chimps Throwing Feces
The US National Institutes of Health spent $592,527 at Emory University in Atlanta to explore why chimpanzees throw feces. Another $117,000 was necessary to conclude that most chimps are right-handed, the Washington Examiner reports.
Their research suggests that throwing feces is a sign of intelligence in chimps.
3. Drunken Finches
The National Institutes of Health gave $5 million to the Oregon Health & Science University to study if finches slurred their songs when alcohol was in their systems.
The birds were given white grape juice spiked with alcohol, which impacted their singing ability, NBC News reports.
4. Bees on Cocaine
The National Institutes of Health funded over $240,000 to study the impact of cocaine on honey bees at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.
With cocaine in their system, the bees were more likely to dance, the researcher found.
5. Shrimp on Treadmills
The National Science Foundation (NSF) funded $1.3 million to make shrimp run on tiny treadmills at the College of Charleston in South Carolina.
The study tested how sickness impaired shrimp mobility.
6. $500k Study if Selfies Make you Happy
A University of California, Irvine-based research team received $500,000 in federal funding to study if taking selfies makes people happy.
The 4-week study found that taking selfies boosted participants’ moods.
7. Secret Language of French Butchers
The National Endowment for the Humanities funded $30,000 for a study at the University of Connecticut to research “a secret, highly endangered language spoken by Parisian butchers,” the New York Times reports.
8. Bee Sting Pain
The National Science Foundation funded $1 million to a researcher at Cornell University to rank how much it hurt to be stung by honey bees on different parts of his body, Real Clear Policy reports.
Spoiler alert, it’s the nostrils, upper lip, and genitals. The researcher endured roughly 200 bee stings.
9. Sexy Goldfish
The National Science Foundation awarded $3.6 million to a study at Bowdoin College in Maine, where a portion of this funding went to experiments on what makes goldfish feel sexy.
Researchers discovered that when given sex steroids, male goldfish exhibited more social behavior and swam closer to their female counterparts, the Daily Signal reports.
10. AI Toilets
The National Cancer Institute funded nearly $7 million to researchers at Stanford University to build an AI toilet, Real Clear Policy reports.
The toilet is equipped with cameras that scans the user’s waste and unique “analprint.” DOGE is not an official government agency and is expected to conclude its work by July 4, 2026. As of November 2024, the United States national debt is $35.97 trillion.
https://www.campusreform.org/article/sturge-10-outrageous-taxpayer-funded-higher-ed-research-projects-doge-can-investigate/26949