TYB
So… going with the group this bread then? Weaklings.
Everyone is more than they know they are, of that there is no question, but I just wish I knew to what extent. It's like the answer is right in front of me and I'm just brushing it with my fingertips, unable to get hold of it.
>The higher you scored on achievement tests, the worse they abused you.
Being a nerd in the 80s was a rough time compared to how it is now. Deliberately starting failing the assessment tests so I could avoid the ostracization of being put in the advanced classes. The regular kids always picked on the ones in the advanced classes, even the ones that you called friend. I always considered that to be the just usual social pecking order that kids work out and establish on their own. Your post makes me wonder if this was cultivated behavior rather than organic.
There's a pattern to sorting the sides, regardless of the random start position.. Once you see it, it's easy.
Then a massive concussion at the end of 2007 changed everything. Happened a month or so after something strange and out of the ordinary happened to someone else. Almost like that was a ripple that threw me out of the boat.
I base that theory on the weirdness about elbowing that crosswalk button as hard as I could and feeling no pain and then seeing someone else the next day that had a softball sized elbow that resulted from something that happened the same day I did that.
Just a theory, not a belief.
Mo money mo problems is the saying, right? Same thing happens on the opposite end of the spectrum. When you run out of money you find out who your real friends are and who the fair weather ones are.
A lifetime of fair weather friends that only wanted me around for what they could get out of me. And, being an alcoholic back then my judgement was not the best.
What a fuckin' roller coaster my mind has been on today.
Sounds like me minus the Monday night part.