16:30 in and the author doesn't seem to understand that most of what he is saying only makes sense to him because somehow he lived it not taking into consideration that he claims his child was taken away from him, corrupt cops, and he is reliving it realizing, the audience has not been introduced to the whole situation. What does having your repaired have anything to do with this, why mention it? Not relevant and to the point. Those yahoo answers are just plain hard to follow and what he is trying to get at with definitive. Not much as visual helpers either. Who is the girl in the yahoo answers? What does that have to do with his child? You need to start from scratch and think, assume no one knows anything, and introduce characters, timelines, situations, etc…