That new laptop you just paid $800 for will become a crippled piece of shit in 10 years because nobody is conspiring to make it become obsolete.
Fun Fact: In the Book of Revelations, America is missing at Armagheddon.
Before that, in chapter 18 someone gets their shit thoroughly pushed in.
It's like the Blanket Test for puppies. Put puppies in a bunch and cover them with a blanket. Take the first puppy who pokes its head out from the cover.
Puppy America fell asleep under the blanket of darkness.
Give us the full list of names.