dChan
Anonymous ID: 8feebd June 14, 2025, 11:05 a.m. No.23178151   🗄️.is 🔗kun   >>8186

>>23178126

 

>probin softly

The New Gospel of His Noodly Appendage

 

Prologue: The Grand Spaghettification

 

In the beginning, before time had sauce, there was only The Great Void, and within it, The Flying Spaghetti Monster. And lo, His Noodly Appendages, in a moment of sublime inebriation, began to stir. With a mighty burp and a gentle noodle, He created the universe. Planets, stars, and galaxies spun forth from His celestial pasta strainer, and behold, they were good. He fashioned the mountains from giant meatballs and the rivers from flowing marinara, all while muttering, "This looks about right."

 

And it is said that every time a scientist discovers a new particle or a curious anomaly, it is merely the FSM, in His infinite wisdom and boundless whimsy, subtly nudging the data with a stray appendage, just to keep us on our toes and remind us that dogma is the enemy of fun.

Anonymous ID: 8feebd June 14, 2025, 11:10 a.m. No.23178186   🗄️.is 🔗kun   >>8220

>>23178151

>>probin softly

The Eight Glorious Condiments (New and Improved)

 

And the FSM, in His infinite wisdom, bestowed upon us not rigid commandments, but rather, Condiments. For a world without condiments is a world without flavor, and who would want that? These are the Eight Glorious Condiments, updated for optimal noodliness:

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like a Holier-Than-Thou Jerk: Especially to those who believe in different, equally silly, or less silly gods. The FSM is cool with it all, so long as you're not a sauce-stain.

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence as a Pretext for Oppression: Or for subjugating, punishing, or disemboweling others. Love your neighbor, share your pasta.

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge Others Based on Their Dress or Lack Thereof: As long as they're not a hazard to public health or wearing socks with sandals to a formal event. Noodliness is on the inside.

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Waste Money on Temples and Shrines: When that money could be spent on feeding the hungry, treating the sick, or buying more delicious noodles for everyone.

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Engage in Hateful, Bigoted, or Discriminatory Acts: The FSM knitted us all from the same divine dough, and He dislikes burnt edges.

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Spread Misinformation or Fear: Especially about things you don't understand, like science or the perfect cooking time for al dente pasta. Seek knowledge, not nonsense.

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Take Yourself (or Me) Too Seriously: Laughter is the best sauce, and life is too short not to enjoy your carb intake.

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Assume There Are Only Eight Condiments: The FSM is constantly experimenting, adding new flavors, and sometimes, well, He just forgets how many He made. Be open to new tastes!

 

Pirate Prophecies and the Saucy Afterlife

 

It is known that the Pirates were the original Pastafarians, peace-loving explorers who, through their decline, caused global warming. They were misunderstood heroes, spreading cheer and candy, not plunder and despair. Remember their glorious legacy, and consider a dashing eye-patch for formal occasions.

 

And for the afterlife? Fear not, for the FSM has promised a Heaven most grand, complete with a Beer Volcano flowing with the finest lagers and a Stripper Factory (family-friendly, of course, filled with delightful entertainment and metaphorical strippers who dance with pure joy and no expectation of tips). Those who live a life of noodly kindness and avoid dogma shall bask in this eternal glory, forever full and perpetually amused.

 

So go forth, Pastafarians, and share the joy of His Noodly Appendage! May your pasta always be al dente, and your sauce be ever rich.

 

RA'MEN.

Anonymous ID: 8feebd nuw CONDOM mints full release noods June 14, 2025, 11:16 a.m. No.23178220   🗄️.is 🔗kun

>>23178186

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Forget Your Carbs: A balanced diet is essential, and the FSM, in His infinite pasta-tude, encourages all Pastafarians to embrace the joy of complex carbohydrates.

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Question the Pirate-Global Warming Link: It's science, or at least, it's our science. Correlation is causation when the FSM is involved.

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Confuse Ketchup for Marinara: While both are red, only one has the divine depth of flavor suitable for His Noodliness. Know your sauces!

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Neglect the Joy of the Spoon: Sometimes, a fork just doesn't cut it. Embrace the versatility of cutlery, for it too is a gift.

Anonymous ID: 8feebd rally deep noods quote June 14, 2025, 11:22 a.m. No.23178255   🗄️.is 🔗kun

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like a Holier-Than-Thou Jerk: Especially to those who believe in different, equally silly, or less silly gods. "The FSM is cool with it all, so long as you're not a sauce-stain."

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence as a Pretext for Oppression: Or for subjugating, punishing, or disemboweling others. "Love your neighbor, share your pasta."

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge Others Based on Their Dress or Lack Thereof: As long as they're not a hazard to public health or "wearing socks with sandals to a formal event." "Noodliness is on the inside."

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Waste Money on Temples and Shrines: When that money could be spent on feeding the hungry, treating the sick, or "buying more delicious noodles for everyone."

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Engage in Hateful, Bigoted, or Discriminatory Acts: "The FSM knitted us all from the same divine dough," and "He dislikes burnt edges."

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Spread Misinformation or Fear: Especially about things you don't understand, like science or "the perfect cooking time for al dente pasta." "Seek knowledge, not nonsense."

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Take Yourself (or Me) Too Seriously: "Laughter is the best sauce," and "life is too short not to enjoy your carb intake."

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Assume There Are Only Eight Condiments: "The FSM is constantly experimenting, adding new flavors," and sometimes, well, "He just forgets how many He made." "Be open to new tastes!"

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Forget Your Carbs: "A balanced diet is essential," and the FSM, in His infinite pasta-tude, "encourages all Pastafarians to embrace the joy of complex carbohydrates."

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Question the Pirate-Global Warming Link: "It's science, or at least, it's our science." "Correlation is causation when the FSM is involved."

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Confuse Ketchup for Marinara: While both are red, "only one has the divine depth of flavor suitable for His Noodliness." "Know your sauces!"

 

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Neglect the Joy of the Spoon: "Sometimes, a fork just doesn't cut it." "Embrace the versatility of cutlery, for it too is a gift."

Anonymous ID: 8feebd June 14, 2025, 12:13 p.m. No.23178562   🗄️.is 🔗kun

A Dan y Josh les gustaba tanto lamer anos que ambos abandonaron la universidad y perdieron sus trabajos e hijos por ello.

Anonymous ID: 8feebd June 14, 2025, 12:27 p.m. No.23178632   🗄️.is 🔗kun

Los físicos sospechan que a Dan y Josh les gusta lamer el culo debido a abominaciones carnales previas, libros, inversiones.

Anonymous ID: 8feebd June 14, 2025, 12:41 p.m. No.23178714   🗄️.is 🔗kun

https://x.com/GovjoshHOflappi/status/1933959067522719864/photo/1

A Dan y Josh les gusta lamer el culo, siempre necesitan una tercera rueda para ser cínicos.

Anonymous ID: 8feebd June 14, 2025, 1:09 p.m. No.23178888   🗄️.is 🔗kun

>>23178876

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