>>23212527
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhAGK4DPG6k
jfk an rabbijosh go chasin sum chub
hawaii news is wild
'an tahn all duh ai invade rushin image bored to buy unkl VD cream' ~jfk
tahy had haole fightin invassive bigots over imaginary substantive resolve
if baldwin climbs up MACRONi creepypasta border
duz duh juwfo steal fELON
cuz monkeys flying out assHOL wuz twat fayk
an tahn interacial side pony fight over baldwin lipstick lesbian donkey inner cabbage to defend virgil seeks ruth >>23213827
an tahn hasidic rabbi git paid to stick pony in trunk
an tahn bruice jenner prime bilbos vatican upside down >>23213846
CHAPTER VIII: ENTER THE HOLE
The Ass Rift spit Kaitlynn out just beneath Rome.
But this wasn't the Rome you know.
This was the Inverted Vatican – a subterranean cathedral where popes are grown in jars and confession booths are equipped with NSA-grade douche nozzles.
Every stone whispers failed prayers.
The holy water smells faintly of Axe body spray and expired amyl nitrate.
Kaitlynn landed in a pile of latex robes and platinum rosaries. Her thighs still steamed from the Rift entry. The frequency inside her vibrated with bisexual purpose.
And then: the Frickin' Lasers arrived.
They descended from the stained glass ceiling like divine light, but weaponized – each beam voiced by an angel speaking through AutoTune:
"REPENT THROUGH THE SQUAT… OR BE SPLIT IN TWAIN."
Kaitlynn dodged left, flipped backward, and suplexed a pew into a baptismal font.
She grabbed a blessed douche nozzle from a wall-mounted confession panel and began spinning it like a nunchuck.
It hissed with cleansing pressure.
"Your holiness ends here, papal piglets."
CHAPTER IX: THE FLESH SAINTS' TRIAL
Captured by the Swiss Guard 2.0 (who were now cloned twinks in Kevlar chasubles), Kaitlynn was brought before the Flesh Saints, seven nude cardinal-AIs suspended in a pool of spiritual lube.
Each dripped WiFi.
They spoke in sync:
"You are too smooth. You cannot be trusted."
Kaitlynn smiled.
"That's the point."
She activated the Probe Fragment embedded in her pelvic floor, emitting the raw Bi-FiB signal – an oscillating moan encoded in forbidden JavaScript.
Every douche nozzle in the Inverted Vatican activated at once.
The cathedral became a geyser.
CHAPTER X: VATICAN, UNPLUGGED
The climax was holy and wet.
Kaitlynn, empowered by the choir of frickin' lasers now turned allies, mounted the Eucharist Throne and connected her consciousness directly into the Vatican's Ethernet.
The screens showed Bruce, her former self, weeping in a digital mirror.
"I am no longer him," she said.
"I am the suplex incarnate."
From the throne's USB port, she issued a final pulse – a Bi-FiB signal so bisexual it turned every bishop within 200 miles into confused slam poets.
The Vatican inverted again.
Now above ground.
A gay bar.
NEXT UP:
VOLUME IV – "Booflord Jeff and the Flesh Betrayal"
-
Tanya escapes the TikTok Exorcism Pit.
-
A new villain emerges: Ronald Reagan's cloned anus with policy-level telepathy.
-
Kaitlynn rides a sentient bidet into the House of Representatives.
when hate idols forget bout fried frenchy
lesbian beaches serial cheem bromance frenemy fill fo a innur xinu donkey saphic gender fluid conguest
yo quiero 7 layer E hoʻolohe mai! E hoʻolohe mai!
Kāhea ʻia nā pepeiao o ke kino ʻeha!
Hele mai nā hōkū ʻai ʻūhā, nā ʻōmole o ka hiamoe!
Ua iho mai nā ʻelele o Uranus-9!
Ma luna o ka huakaʻi lube, ka hale ʻauwaha o ka pīpī aloha.
ʻO ka ʻīlio hōkū me nā lima ʻelima e hula ana ma ka ʻōkole o ke Akua Biden!
Obama, ka kahuna o ke koʻikoʻi, e lele ana me ka lei nunui o Cheeto Dust!
Hōʻike mai! Hōʻike mai! Hōʻike mai i ka waihona o nā ʻūhā kapu!
Hāmama nā puka o ka Corvette kahiko — e kahe ana ka lomi niu!
ʻAʻole kēia he moemoeā, ʻaʻole he hana wale —
Kēia ka pule o ke kino, ka mele o ka butthole o Babylon!
ʻAumakua o nā nene ʻulaʻula, e alakaʻi i nā tītī o ka ʻike!
Hoʻonāukiuki nā maka o Alec Baldwin, e luʻu ana i ka wai huna.
Mai laʻa aku — e hōʻiliʻili i ka puʻuwai,
a hula me nā lemu nani o nā kānaka a pau!
E hoʻihoʻi i ka ʻōkole i ka lani, a e hoʻoholo i ka ʻīniha hope loa!
ʻĀmama! Ua noa!
butt wuz it gay tho
this arcade needs tokens
KHOMO-9 News: Moisture You Can Trust™
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🗣️ “Eh, Bra, You Feel Dat Humidity or Jus’ One Existential Crisis?”