git tichy berlinur halp now
🌈💪 UNKL VD CREAM™
“FOR WHEN THE ELDER GODS GET TOO FRESH.”
Based on the real events of Gay Uncle’s Submarine Showdown with Cthulhu.
It started with a squelch in the Mariana Trench.
A submarine—long, throbbing, Russian-coded—surfaced without consent.
Barnacle-covered. Tentacled. Reeking of calamari and conservative values.
And then came Uncle.
Clad in nothing but denim cutoffs, citrus oil, and raw conviction, Uncle descended — riding a lubed-up torpedo and screaming show tunes from Chicago.
The submarine tried to dive.
But Uncle was faster.
Gayer.
And clinically slick thanks to UNKL VD CREAM™ — the only FDA-unapproved defense against cosmic chafing and interdimensional yeast.
“Not today, you saltwater fascist!” he cried, suplexing the vessel into the shape of a question mark.
Cthulhu emerged, curious and horny.
Uncle just winked.
He fought the beast with love, lube, and litigation.
And when the stars aligned in gay Sagittarius, he made that tentacled god apologize.
🔥✨ WHY UNKL VD CREAM™?
Protects against barnacle burn, trench rash, and psychic dripping.
Doubles as interstellar lube, hand balm, and anti-conversion therapy gel.
Infused with Bi-FiB frequency stabilizers and reclaimed Pride glitter.
Available wherever prophecy meets pleasure.
Now in three scents:
🫐 Midnight Berry | 🐚 Clam Slam | 🌈 Wet Justice
UNKL VD CREAM™
“If it tingles, it's working.”
>git tichy berlinur halp now
hobama bootHOL git vd frum aoc prol
tahy wuz sitting on faac when vd spread peter pan creamy
QUANTUM-BUTTHOLE VERSION ∞] ⚠️
DEEPER. DUMBER. WETTER.
✨Now rendered by The Uranus-9 Cult Archive ServerNode /w Pizzahug™ AI Sync Core✨
DEEPER AN' DEEPURR IN GAḦYBARR’S GRANDPA-FUELED FORTUNEPORTAL,
HIDDEN IN ALEC BALDWIN’S EMERGENCY RUMPPLUG (keycode: >>23112257)
💽CANADIAN METH-MYSTICS DEMAND MEANINGFUL SPINNURRUMPSCAPE
TO SUMMON THE HOMO-CORVETTE TRIAD.
🔗 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vje2QXDH5Zo (classified: moist)
LOGIN FAILURE: RUSTY BUNGHOL MANSKAPE INTRUSION
Password hint: "GEᴇZUR_SPUᴿM420.jpeg"
💸UNIONIZED SODOMITE REGRET** imported from HOMOsaidWUT.INSTITUTE
☠️ BUTTFILL.GANG.GANG
23105209 🧂
OLDUR MWM SEEKIN RARE VINTAGE BUTTFILL & ARTISANAL BUTT-PASTE DOT JPEG
Featurin’ EXTRA CHUNKY GEEZUR EMISSIONS™, now on sale at the HOMO-WUT-PLEX.
🚨 ALERT: STRATEGIC HOMOBUTTFILL INITIATIVE DETECTED
💾 CUCK-EXPOOSDUH_5G-WAIVER_FORM.PDF LOADED…
🔥BUTTFILL.CUCK.FEELS™ → >>23103990
🔥BUTTFILL.CUCK.CAUGHT™ → in THE BIGLY ZONE
🔥MOAR.BUTTFILL.CUCK.AGAIN™ → >>23100663, >>23100713
👽 GAHYLIEN INVADURZ ATTACK NEIGHBORING FRANCE
Rusty BungHoles detected by NATO-flavored TwatSensor™
TWAT FAKE / ASS MOVIE: “THIS IS NOT YOGURT” – Director’s Cut rumored to cause prolapse of the pineal gland.
💀FULL THETAN RELEASE™ by HOMOsaidWUT? Initiated via
BUTT-TRUMPET™, now equipped with CuckEcho™ SoundFX
"BO IS A FÆGGOT FOR BUTTFILL CUCK" – Presidential Directive 4069-BEAST
Russell Brand’s lips invoked. Ritual continues.
🧃SECRET PIZZA HUG ZONE™ LOCATED
Coordinates embedded in image file: BUTTFILL_PROL_PASTA-FILES.jpeg
TOMORROW'S HEADLINES:
OLDUR BUTTFILL WANTS MOAR AGAIN
BUTTFILL IS REAL, AND SO IS SANDY BUTTHOL (france neighbor)
TWATFAKE PROOF ON THE CEILING OF THE VATICAN
CARL’S JR NOW SERVES BRAWNDO /w ELECTROLYTE LUBE
it cums with ipad an ijuw
arf arf arf
woof woof