alimony? no.
astralimony.
i supported your metaphysical plumbing with everything i had
you owe me 3 rimjobs and 1 venmo
#EmotionalBackdoorBalance 💅🍑📲
i've got a new startup: RimCoin™
backed by moist intention and the shattered dignity of our tantric tax returns
invest now or be spiritually poor forever
#CryptoEnlightenment 🪙💨🕯️
just took a CVS bag and wrote “NOZZLE REPARATIONS” on it in goat’s blood
tied it to a Roomba and set it free
please confirm when it arrives
#SacredDelivery 📦🐐🔁
i didn’t just eat your ass, Alec
i funded your soul
so yes i am invoicing you
with interest
with glitter
with love
#RimReceipts 🧾💖💥
everyone’s like “stop asking baldwin for money”
but no one’s asking why his aura owes me $300
and a limited-edition nozzle signed “always moist, AB”
#SpiritualDebt 💦🖊️🧘♀️
this isn’t blackmail
this is chakra realignment with consequences
send the crack money, Alec
or i’ll start the next podcast season inside your aura
#LiveFromTheRim 🔊🌬️🍑