Tom Hanks – Massive Pedophile Dump (David S. Pumpkins)
This sketch is only a couple years old. The premise is that a married couple are in an amusement-park ride like The Tower of Terror from Disneyland. The ride takes them to various floors, and each floor features a cliche scary Halloween act when the doors open – like a platter with a severed head, a demon-girl like The Ring, etc.
Eventually, they come to Tom Hanks' character flanked by two skeletons and his name is David S. Pumpkins. The couple is naturally confused as this guy is not scary at all. (Get it? It's LITERALLY supposed to be Tom Hanks. What's scary about Tom Hanks…?) Hanks performs a dance with the two skeletons that includes mimicking grinding and rubbing up on each other, as well as him slapping their ass and the two skeletons moaning. When the couple inquires of who is this guy supposed to be, are they supposed to know him from somewhere, is he from something (they are rubbing it in your face), he just replies his name.
When they ask what's the point of this vignette (literally asking, what is the point of this sketch), Hanks replies, "To do this!!!" – and resumes his sex-dance with the two skeletons that Kate McKinnon has now called Beat Boys. I.e., Tom Hanks is beating off two boys. He slaps their ass again and they moan. In addition, the sketch features Hanks doing a bizarre hand-gesture ritual by crossing his hands over and over again, while pointing with his thumbs (pointed thumbs up/down being a common pedophile symbol and gesture). This crossing hand-dance has an even more disgusting meaning behind it as you'll find out (remember all the photos of the lost gloves and shoes?)… The couple also asks why the two skeletons are involved and they admit, "WE'RE PART OF IT!!!" Again, literally, these two actors (who also wrote the sketch) are admitting they are in on it. The third writer (Streeter Seidell) credited also has some perverted material online and one of his other SNL sketches is about a pizza-restaurant being raided after someone leaked information, like the Seth Rich incident. This one starred Aziz Anasari.
So what we have is an SNL sketch that, like the Jimmy Kimmel one, is a further admission of Tom Hanks that he is a pedophile. What makes it so vile is how Hanks thinks it would be so funny to throw this in people's faces, mocking his 'Nice Guy' persona. I mean, the whole world thinks Tom Hanks is the most harmless, innocent guy in show-business when he is, in fact, one of the most evil to the point where he suggests the mutilation and murder of young children after raping them.