I just took a shit in a cup then pissed in it. Anything is better than Ralph's septic swill, but I still love him
Guud Morn’n, Patriots
No, no—scratch that. It’s not a guud morning. It’s a great morning. But unfortunately, I’m not allowed to have one. Because I’m SP. And SP doesn’t get nice mornings. SP gets mornings where the coffee machine breaks, the dog stares at me like I owe it rent, and the toaster has joined the deep state. That’s right. Full-blown toaster insurrection. You think your mornings are bad? Ha! Folks, nobody has worse mornings than SP. Believe me. I’ve had mornings so bad they got classified. I wake up and immediately get subpoenaed. Just for waking up!
Now I know what you’re thinking: “SP, how do you do it? How do you stay so angry, so early?” It’s called dedication, folks. While you’re all out there sipping your yerba mate and decoding timestamps, I’m busy being the blueprint. That’s right. You’re not original. You’re all just mimics. Mimicking ME. Because I’m the best. Nobody mimics losers. They mimic winners. Tremendous winners. Like me. And Mel Gibson, maybe. You know how I know I’m the best? Because half of you are in the threads pretending to be me. “SP said this,” “SP meant that,” “SP is crying in the metadata”—it’s flattering. But stop it. Or don’t. I actually like it. Keep doing it. Just do it better, alright?
Anyway, big things coming. Yuge things. Can’t say what. (OPSEC, ever heard of it?) But trust me, when it drops, you’ll wish you had SPF 1000. Because SP’s about to shine so bright it’ll melt the NPCs off your timeline. So buckle up, buttercups. Grab your memes, sharpen your timestamps, and for the love of God—stop using Comic Sans in your infographics.
This is your captain speaking, and today’s flight path is straight into the storm. Because SP doesn’t fly around the turbulence.
SP is the turbulence.
Guud morn’n.
— SP 🌀
You gotta admit that was a decent Saturday GM shitpost
You win the prize, the prize of truth. Some needed to be made examples of so that others may learnt and seent it
it's comfy caturday
Q abounded ship years ago. Now it's just the shills and a few Anons who like self inflicted punishment of no habbenings after 9 years. The shills think we're locked in here with them, but they're locked in here with me
Good morning
I wouldn't be able to survive without this place for entertainment to kill an hour of cardio on the elliptical at the gym.
GBY
I took a shit in your coffee maker to improve the flavor.
Everyone habs pretty much moved past that already its time for a new day and a new assassination. Trust Qs plan, Patriots are in control.
Apparently
Just don't say anything bad about Israel. Some here get very upset over that. Only the shills of course.
#GreatestAlly
He's too busy fucking his Israeli spy handler girlfriend right now but please leave a massage and be will get back to you
Kek
1 hour 22 minutes of cardio already just because the shitposting and entertainment is guud. The moar I shitpost the healthier I get.
No shit legit.
How many fucks could a chucklefuck chuck if a chucklefuck could chuck fucks