so?
you opine about awareness but seem unaware.
you go into a long winded description but aren't describing anything.
you narrative some kind of 'life story' but it seems as though you're hardly living.
too many words that don't say anything indicates that
yes, your mind drifts.
your content like something eddying in a flooding river. It's eddies around in one backwater spot, but doesn't go anywhere else.