Since it is in fashion these days to claim victimhood I have decided I am going to claim that I am a victim of medianism as I suffer from median skin tone, median height, median weight, median follicle distribution, and median penis length. I accept all benefits which accrue to me as a result of my afflictions.
The struggle against the extremocracy shall be difficult given how thoroughly medianist society is. I shall exert the median effort for the median duration to obtain the desired median objective.