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November 25, 2025 — Turkey Day Preparty: Where the Left Chokes on Dry Gravy and Their Own Lies, While Trump Serves Up Seconds of Winning.

1. Trump Slaps "Terrorist" Label on Muslim Brotherhood—CAIR's Weekend Ruined

Executive order drops like a Thanksgiving ham: Designating key MB chapters (Lebanon, Egypt, Jordan) as FTOs and global terrorists, freezing assets and banning ops on U.S. soil. White House: "No more funding radicalism from American agencies." Ilhan Omar's donors: Sweating harder than a turkey in a 500-degree oven. Bonus: Ties right back to that Minnesota Medicaid-to-Al-Shabaab pipeline—because nothing says "progressive values" like accidentally bankrolling jihadis.

1. Judge Tosses Comey & Letitia James Indictments—But "Without Prejudice" Means Round 2 Incoming

Federal Judge Cameron Currie yeets the cases because Trump's handpicked prosecutor (Lindsey Halligan, zero experience) was "unlawfully appointed." Comey: "DOJ is Trump's revenge porn." Letitia: "Heartened victory!" Karoline Leavitt torches back: "Partisan hack shielding liars—appeal yesterday." Statute of limitations might save Comey, but Letitia's mortgage fraud? Florida or EDVA redux. The swamp's self-cleaning oven just got a firmware update.

1. "Genesis Mission" EO: Trump Unleashes AI Frankenstein for Science Wins

Boom—executive order greenlights DOE supercomputers + federal datasets to birth an "integrated AI platform" for breakthroughs in everything from protein folding to fusion. Nvidia, AMD, Dell already onboard. Michael Kratsios: "Biggest scientific marshal since Apollo." Left: "Skynet!" Reality: Cures, energy dominance, and jobs—while Biden's AI "guardrails" gather dust. Elon: "Only way."

1. Ukraine Peace Plan: Zelenskyy Balks at "Capitulation," Europe Plays Bad Cop

Kyiv rejects key bits of Trump's 28-point deal (no territory ceded, NATO door cracked open), calls it "zero gratitude" to U.S. aid. Putin: "Basis for talks." Europeans flood Geneva with counter-proposals, screaming "No yielding to aggressor!" Trump deadline: Thanksgiving (missed), but Rubio's "positive" spin keeps the pot simmering. Zelenskyy: "Dignified peace or bust." Translation: More winter aid or else.

1. Campbell's Soup Exec Caught on Tape: "Sht for Fcking Poor People" + "3D-Printed Chicken"

Leaked audio of VP Martin Bally (now on leave): "Who buys our sh*t? Bioengineered meat from a 3D printer—I won't touch it." Lawsuit from fired whistleblower claims retaliation + racism. Company: "Patently false—all real USDA chicken." Florida AG: "Investigating lab-meat lies—ban incoming." Internet: Boycotting faster than Black Friday sales. Mmm, "M'm! M'm! M'm… regret!"

1. Pentagon Probes Astronaut-Senator Mark Kelly: "Illegal Orders" Video = Potential Court-Martial

DoD launches "thorough review" of Kelly (ret. Navy Capt.) for urging troops to "refuse illegal orders" in that Dem mutiny montage. Could recall him to active duty for UCMJ smackdown. Kelly: "Not intimidated by bullies." Schumer: "Trump's attack dog!" Hegseth: "Interfering with morale." Six Dems (Slotkin included) now sweating—because nothing says "defend democracy" like telling the military to coup the Commander-in-Chief.

1. Quick-Hit Cranberry-Sauce Chasers

2. Meta: Lets sex-trafficking posts slide until the 17th strike. Zuck: "Oops."

3. Chicago: Post-tree-lighting "mostly peaceful" violence—another win for soft-on-crime DAs.

4. DOGE: Trillions in tariffs, wars paused—efficiency so good it's "not what you think."

5. Syria: Homs lockdown, Alawite revenge fires—Assad's holiday special.

Verdict: Left spent the day defending jihadi funders, soup-slurping execs, and senator-coup-plotters while Trump's AI army and terror blacklists reshape the board. Comey & Letitia dodge a bullet (for now), but the chamber's loaded.

Their cope: Stale as yesterday's leftovers. Frens, loosen the belt—this feast of schadenfreude is endless. Gobble gobble—America's back, baby.