I gave up tonight and prayed for release from this world, when I awoke to this song that my wife was playing. I always keep watch for cries, saboteurs, or choking in the night and only rest for about an hour or so, until I am awoken again and reminded. I slowly realized as I awoke that I was holding my breath, sweating out toxins to tiny bursts of released breath, and every muscle was constricted like a twisted rag trying to get the last drop out, my biceps looked slightly purple. As I remembered the vision I was having, I was actually living a life in a better more harmonious appreciative world, and living the life I always wanted, and everything was joyful and peaceful. We pay a price for everything I do here, and you are welcome to fly a drone and look at my doorstep and consider it has been freezing all day.