To: Somalians being deported for engaging in fraud, etc.

It is understandable that you don't want to go back to your country because it is a shithole. Have you ever wondered though why it is a shithole? Well pay attention because I am about to answer that most important of questions. The reason your country is a shithole is people like you live there. Now I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything but we American's don't want to live in a shithole, so your are going to have to return to your shithole of a country. When you learn how to not make a country a shithole then maybe we can talk about letting you come back here. Until then, goodbye, good riddance, and we wish you all the best for your endeavors in your shithole of a country.

Signed,

An American man