May consider it time to retire that word.
You fail to grasp you are SPELLBOUND.
Weekly BLOOD RITUAL on an ALTER, seeking SPIRIT INVOCATION.
If it wasn't in a 'church' you would correctly call it VOODOO/Goetia but stay blind. Do you.
Spirit Invocation magic aka Goetia, aka Abramelin magic aka Voodoo
The oldest, most powerful technology. Control of 'forces/energies'
The 'cross' is the symbol of the control of the god of the four corners/quarters/cardinal directions/points. Same thing.
The Ipsissimus (Issa) is the adept who controls the 4.
Listen to your own words "You study what you want to believe."
The voodoo that you do. Indeed.
Believe nothing. KNOW TRUTH. Only that which is other than truth requires beLIEf.
You are referring to an Ipsissimus in Jesus. Look it up.
Journey well.