I was awakened. To my horror, awakening is not a pleasant experience. Do I wish I had not awakened? Yes. I miss muh bliss. Would I choose to return to ignorance if I could? Not sure. I liken it to escaping Plato's cave and discovering the real world, but in my particular case there is reality and sunlight and beautiful nature but no one to share it with. Utterly alone. As loneliness sets in, one gets the urge to return to the cave and does so only to listen to the ramblings and constant laughter and giggles of those reacting to the shadows on the wall and dares not attempt to talk about reality as they will turn against you. So you return to the real world and spend out your days with only yourself. I suppose this is my karma. Getting to know yourself is traumatic. Sometimes unbearable. So one drifts back to the cave from time to time to listen to the ramblings of the democrats and republicans and the Christians and the Muslims and the atheists and the anarchists and the zionists and the libertarians and the sports fanatics and the pro wrestling fanatics and so on until I can take it no longer and go back to spending time with myself. Not sure if I am fully awake.
The vax is but a shadow on the wall anymore. Though I believe the vax killed my dad, the fond memory of my dad has become also but a memory of a former shadow on the wall. Sometimes I weep, and in doing so it makes me wonder if I am fully awake, because I weep for the sake of an illusion which has enchanted me. When I say I was awakened, I mean to say that I have discovered that everything is fake. Not just fake news and fake science and fake history and fake money and fake narratives but fake everything. It's all fake. My eyes do not see what exists anymore, what exists is created by my eyes. Which do not exist. I believe that I am but know not what it is that I am.