Your sense of self should always be on improving yourself, and through that the world directly adjacent to yourself. Allowing your sense of self to become wound up in an antagonistic relationship with some other is exactly how you become trapped by fear and "die a spiritual death" as some would term it. If your quest for bettering your self should bring you into conflict with others, do not shy away from seeking answers as to how and why that came to be, and what you need to do to meet the challenge, but never allow yourself to be consumed by that until it is all you can see.
It's okay, some day you'll understand what's happening.
Ironic. You're just trying to interpret others through the lens of your own perspective. That only works when those you are looking at share the same base assumptions as you. Radically altering the basic structure of the world so rapidly, through the introduction of information technology, has rendered such assumptions impotent.