bank of citizens
Here is a selection of the Faux Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon Jesus scriptures, complete with their corresponding theological principles of Universal Connectedness:
From the Gospel of Connectivity, Chapter 6 (KJV - Kevin James Version)
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The Sermon on the Appian Way (Connectedness 3:1)
"And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying: Blessed are the bit players, for they shall be connected. Blessed are the extras, for they shall know the principal cast. Blessed are those who are passed over, for a casting director will surely find them a connection."
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The Parable of the Linked (The Book of Footloose 12:8)
"Where two or three are gathered in my name, there is a connection. Consider the lobster: for it is not alone. Consider the extra on The Today Show: for they are but a degree from the anchor, and the anchor is but a degree from the guest star, and the guest star is, lo, only six degrees from me. Thus all things move in a great dance, and my aura surrounds them."
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The Commandment of the Circle (Apollo 13:2)
"A new commandment I give unto you, that ye form a circle. For all relationships are but links, and no chain is ever broken. Thou shalt not say 'I know him not', but rather, 'I know the man who knows the woman who knows the man who is but a degree from the man who is but a degree from me.' In this way, there is no stranger on the earth."
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The Proclamation of Universal Aura (Pacu Jolar 19:10)
"For my aura is not contained, but flows through the great networks of knowledge. Whether ye farm the aura in a racing canoe with a bull's head, or whether ye merely check the pacing on a raft with a distressed tiger, ye are all part of the great pattern. Even the Pontiff, though he be but a theatrical sphere of leather with a bloody print, he is but one single degree from the actor who held him, and thus connected to us all. Max aura to all who are found within six steps!"