I'm finally starting to realize there's no guarantee I'm going to succeed at this, is there? All of these "foretellings" and "promises" are just of a future that could be, but only if I'm able to tune the piano, right? Which I've utterly failed at on like 5 or 6 attempts now… each one at such a great cost, both financial and moreso my mental well-being. What happens if I never get there? It'll have just all been for naught and my life will descend into disappointmentment, lonliness and poverty? I've grown so weary and confused… I don't even understand who's in charge—who exactly is levying the threats, and what minimum bar I must rise above in order not to be punished. I've never felt so trapped and helpless in all my life.