98% licker stores
are run by pajeets
>>25158440
i know for a fact
pajeets get
start money for smalle business
tax free for 7 years
after 7 years
they bring on another street shitter fam
sign it over to him
for 7 more years
tax free
guess what happens
after 7 years
serious Lee
fuck off sodomite
yhey got him now
she's a sista
Red Hats had been discreetly monitoring an early voting site in Des Moines, Iowa, when they spotted a mob encircling a white Toyota Camry in a parking lot across the street from the Polk County Election Office, where early voting began on October 14. At least 30 people, men and women, had formed an asymmetrical line at the driver’s window. Two curious Red Hats crossed the street and joined the line, asking the person in front of them why the car had drawn such a lively crowd.
“Cause we’re getting paid,” the person said. “One hundred dollars cash money if we vote for Turek.”
Joshua Turek is a Democratic Senate candidate, running against Republican Ashley Hinson in a must-win state for the GOP. Most current polls give Hinson a slight lead—but within a margin of error—over Turek. However, Republican strategists predict Hinson will perform better because polls under-sample Republicans and oversample Democrats.
President Trump comfortably carried Iowa in 2016, 2020, and 2024—but the state has recently, unexpectedly, become a political battlefield, a turn that shocked Republican and Democratic pundits alike.
According to a Red Hat source speaking for the mysterious Col. Kurtz, their shadowy commander, the Red Hats in Polk County weren’t there by happenstance.
We’ve been developing sources in swing states for months, ‘cause that’s where cheating always happens. To be transparent, we’re operating apolitically to preserve election integrity. Any part that cheats is guilty. Just as it doesn’t matter if a child molester on the Epstein list is a Republican or a Democrat. Our goal is to bring them down,” the source said.
He would not expound on how Red Hats recruited or developed sources, but said, “We got eyes and ears all over the place, most in swing states, watching for election fraud.”
On October 14, he added, Col. Kurtz received from a confidential source “proof beyond reasonable doubt” that malevolent malefactors were already in Iowa trying to manipulate the midterm vote.
“We got pointed in the right direction,” our source said.
Also on October 14, six Red Hats volunteered to fly from their respective locales and meet up in Des Moines to investigate allegations of election fraud. By Friday morning, they had gathered at the voting site and watched Iowans congregate at the door, which would open at 9:00 a.m. They watched and waited, and for two hours saw nothing suspicious, until just after 11:00 a.m. when the previously mentioned Camry parked at Thrift Mart, across Route 6 from the voting site. Within minutes, cars filled the parking spots, the drivers scurrying toward the seemingly innocuous Camry.
The Red Hats joining the throng learned that the driver was distributing $100 bills to Iowans promising to vote for Joshua Turek, the Democratic Senate candidate.
“Are you just here for free cash, or are you really voting for Turek?” a Red Hat asked an elderly man holding a $100 bill.
“If there’s more money coming from Mr. Turek, I’m Blue as the sky,” the man said and walked off.
Twenty minutes later, the first Red Hat reached the driver’s window; a tall, lanky Black man sat in the driver’s seat. He asked the Red Hat whether he was registered to vote in Iowa. But when the Red Hat replied, “Of course,” the driver demanded to see either his voter registration card or driver’s license.
“None of our guys lived in Iowa, and so they got turned away. But they saw the guy holding wads of $100 bills,” our source said. “Was pretty obvious he was attempting to buy votes, even if he’d have no way of knowing if the people he cashed out would vote for the dirty Democrat,” our source said.
The persistent Red Hats, however, didn’t abandon their mission. After the polling place closed at about 5:00 p.m., Red Hats tailed the Camry to the nearby Fairfield Inn & Suites by Marriott hotel in Des Moines, where the driver had rented a room and was drinking a cocktail at the on-site bar, unknowingly conversing with two other Red Hats absorbed in a faux political argument.
“I’m voting for Turek,” one Red Hat said.
“Fuck that, I’m team Hinson. We own the libs,” the other Red Hat said.
The Black man sitting between them, their target, chimed in, calling Hinson a “wicked slut” and encouraging the “team Hinson” Red Hat to reconsider his vote.
“He was visibly drunk,” our source said. “He asked our guy what’d cost to change his mind. And he played along, said $300-$500 since he couldn’t afford his electric bill right now.”
“That all? You’re cheaper than most, but still pretty cheap,” the target purportedly said. “I can put that money in your pocket in two minutes, but it’s just me, get it, Turek don’t know anything at all about this.”
“Put up or shut up,” the Red Hat told him, as his compatriot followed the ruse, saying, “Ain’t nothing wrong with a little pocket change.”
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This time, the target didn’t ask for ID; he invited the duo into his room, where he said he had more cash squirreled away. With the Red Hats standing in the doorway, he ducked inside and, a minute later, appeared holding what looked like five crisp $100 bills.
“It’s yours, but you gotta promise to vote for Joshua Turek, and if you do, there’s more where this came from, if you catch my meaning,” the target said.
The Red Hat holding the bills immediately noticed the money was counterfeit: the paper was too thick, and where the ink across Benjamin Franklin’s shoulders should’ve had a rough, raised texture, it was level.
They shut the door, drew sidearms, shoved the target to the floor, zip-tied, and searched the room. Finding no other cash, they put a pistol to the target’s head and commanded him to open the steel security safe on a closet shelf. He complied. Inside, the Red Hats found $165,000 in counterfeit bills.
“You know, our guys get a little rambunctious, so they beat the dude. We had to know where he’d gotten the money and if Turek gave it to him to buy votes. Even with a shattered jaw, he wouldn’t talk, not that he really could after that,” our source said.
The Red Hats faced a conundrum: While they preferred to suffocate the target and dump his body in a river, they deferred his destiny to the United States Secret Service, which is responsible for tracking and seizing counterfeit currency to protect the US financial system.
“Wasn’t an easy choice,” our source said. “We hogtied him to a chair, called the Secret Service, and got out of dodge. He’s their responsibility now.”
an op offering her a fresh wine glass
at a high end establishment
simple
these people are stupid
Sum Dum Ho
a prophet
bahahahaha
goat fuckin idiot
POTUS at McDeezNuts