Rough transcript.
Full monologue:
Donald Trump roasts Hillary Clinton at Al Smith charity dinner
[Start @ 12:00]
I'd like to address an important religious matter. The issue of going to confession. Or as Hilary calls it, the fourth of July weekend with FBI Director Comey.
Now, I'm told Hilary went to confession before tonight's event. But the priest was having a hard time when he asked her about her sins. And she said, she said she couldn't remember thirty-nine times.
Hilary is so corrupt, she got kicked-off the Watergate Commission. How corrupt do you have to be to get kicked-off the Watergate Commission? Pretty corrupt.
Hilary is, and has been, in politics since the seventies. What's her pitch? The economy is busted. The government is corrupt. Washington is failing. Vote for me. I've been working on these problems for thirty years. I can fix it, she says. I wasn't really sure, if Hilary was going to be here tonight, because, I guess, you didn't send her invitation by email. Or, maybe, you did and she just found out about it through the wonder of WikiLeaks.
We've heard so much from WikiLeaks. For example, Hilary believes that its vital to decieve the people by having one public policy and a totally different policy in private. That's okay. I don't know who they are angry at, you or I.
For example, here she is tonight in public pretending not to hate Catholics. Now some of you haven't noticed that Hilary isn't laughing as much as the rest of us. That's because she knows the jokes. And all of the jokes were given to her in advance of the dinner by Donna Brasil.
Think Haiti [14:40]
Which is, everyone knows of course, Hilary belief that it takes a village, which only makes sense, after all, in places like Haiti, where she has taken a number of them.
[Hecklers]
Thank you. I don't know.
And I don't want this evening without saying something nice about my opponent. Hilary has been in Washington a long time. She knows a lot about how government works. And, according to her sworn testimony, Hilary has forgotten more things than most of us will ever, ever, know. That I can tell you.
[Hecklers]
We're having some fun here tonight and that's good. On a personal note: what an amazing honor it is to be with all of you. And I want to congradulate Hilary on getting the nomination. And we're there fighting. And over the next nineteen days somebody is going to be chosen. We'll see what happens.
But I have great memories of coming to this dinner with my father over the years when I was a young man. Great exprience for me. This was always a special experience for him and me to be together.
One thing we can all agree on is the need to support the great work that comes out of the dinner. MIllions of dollars have been raised to support disadvantaged childlren. And I applaude the many people who have worked to make this wonderul event a critical lifeline for children in need. And we together broke the all-time record is really something special. More than six million net-net-net.
The Cardinal told me, that's net-net, Donald, remember.
We can also agree on the need to stand-up to anti-Catholic bias, to defend religious liberty, and to create a culture that celebrates life.
America is in many ways divided like it has never been before. And the great religious leaders here tonight give us all an example that we can follow. We are living in a time, an age, that we never thought possible before. The viscous barbarism we read about in history books but never thought we'd see it in our so-called modern day world. Who would have thought we'd be witnessing what we are witnessing today?
We've got to be very strong, very, very smart, and we've got to come together, not only as a nation, but as a world community.
Thank you very much. God Bless you. And God Bless America.
Thank you.