I have been abused by my parents psychologically and by means of control. Jesuit rituals helped compartmentalize my brain, and I always held keys to the partitions through Jesuit biblical triggers.
I keep wondering whether my fervent adherence to the Q movement, even though I am Mexican has to do with this "circumstantial" programming.
I have been triggered to suicide a couple times by them as well.
I am a liability to my family but have a fervent love for life in the form of a "mission".
The "mission" has always been a solace while abused.