Waiting for someone to come save us when we are fully capable of walking the path to save ourselves through the Lord, without a mediator, is a fool's gamble.
My answer to you, God:
If you want a messiah, then MAKE a messiah.
You do not take a man that does not want to be a messiah and try to make him be the Messiah by running him through over and over again until you somehow prove something that he already knew at the beginning:
That he was alone, save for You. That he was fine alone, save for You.
It was only when YOU opened the door to something else, of finding happiness through you and outside of myself AS WELL as in myself, that I started to struggle.
I only became discontent when YOU gave me wisdom, (which I am eternally thankful for and I would NEVER stop doing the Good work, or having Faith in you, or speaking to you), and then instead of using it to help people, targeted it towards a slew of women instead.
Seriously, what the fuck?
Life isn't women. (by itself)
It doesn't even have to include romance.
Sure, I'd like it, but that's a LIKE I don't need it.
And you knew this.
So, why are you making me suffer through something I already knew?
My choice?
Messiah or never be a messiah?
I choose everyone is their own messiah.
I'm done carrying that weight for them.
I'm done shouldering that responsibility.
And it's not because it has gotten me to the lowest of the low, the most suffering of the suffering, but because of one simple fact:
When the world gets a Messiah, they do nothing but put them on a pedestal, parade them around, or abuse them.
Nothing else. Literally nothing else.
I can't even be myself because of this. Do you understand that, Lord? I CAN'T EVEN BE MYSELF AROUND OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE OF THIS.
The world wants to be saved, Lord, but they don't want to walk the path. They don't want to see. They don't want to hear. They don't want to speak.
They either want to rule or be ruled.
And none of them are fit to rule, so…
I guess it means be ruled.