Anonymous ID: 5fbdf9 Sept. 15, 2018, 12:18 a.m. No.3030789   ๐Ÿ—„๏ธ.is ๐Ÿ”—kun   >>0804 >>0805 >>0817 >>0827 >>0829 >>0834 >>0835 >>0840 >>0852 >>0855 >>0860 >>0865 >>0867 >>0874 >>0878 >>0880 >>0883 >>0886 >>0893 >>1038 >>1043 >>1044 >>1072 >>1085 >>1088 >>1102 >>1116 >>1141 >>1146 >>1152 >>1185 >>1190 >>1260

Anons, I know this isn't a chat room but I need some advice.

 

I struggle with some pretty severe mental health problems that have been exacerbated (naturally) by this journey we've been on together. I'm in a dark place and I'm very scared. I know I need to get back to therapy and help, and I've limited the pharmaceuticals I will take because of what we know.

 

With all of the resignations, organizations rebuilding themselves, people who are supposedly "the best in their field" are being shown to be frauds.

 

Where do I turn? How do I know how to trust? I come here sometimes because it's the closest thing I feel is "home" anymore, but this whole saga grips me in a very physically painful way. I find the progress I've made in the past many, many years is being upended because until disclosure I feel so far removed from "normal".

 

Can anyone relate? I don't want to get into diagnosis or too specific, but I know I'm not alone, and I wonder how you cope?

 

Things that used to bring me joy just leave me empty.

 

I've lost friends, pushed people away, and been called far worse than crazy.

 

Of course as Autists growing up on the Chans there is a certain degree of this, but I really feel stuck in the darkness. My grandmother is all I have and I'm watching dementia take her away, and I don't know what next.

 

Apologies for the distraction, but it is night crew.

Anonymous ID: 5fbdf9 Sept. 15, 2018, 12:24 a.m. No.3030812   ๐Ÿ—„๏ธ.is ๐Ÿ”—kun   >>0815 >>1134

>>3030804

I've managed to be off with a reliable supply of specific strains of weed, but that isn't the easiest option I have right now because of locale though my doctor is sympathetic.

 

My mother had me on every single med you could imagine from the time I was two until I realized how unhealthy it was and I am beginning to think I may be permanently altered structurally.

 

>>3030805

Amen.

I just can't stay away after all I've invested, though I try.

Anonymous ID: 5fbdf9 Sept. 15, 2018, 12:33 a.m. No.3030839   ๐Ÿ—„๏ธ.is ๐Ÿ”—kun

>>3030829

That is a perspective I hadn't seen on my own and really reframes this a lot.

 

>>3030827

Thank you brothers. Up until yesterday I had been living in the woods for this reason, but my grandmother needs me now. Truly. It's been a dark night.

 

I can't express what it means to be with you all, anonymous or not. I think anonymous care and empathy is the truest form, because there is nothing to be gained.

Anonymous ID: 5fbdf9 Sept. 15, 2018, 12:44 a.m. No.3030898   ๐Ÿ—„๏ธ.is ๐Ÿ”—kun

>>3030883

>>3030880

>>3030878

 

No delusional disorder in that sense. I would be willing to say most providers would prefer dealing with those disorders than mine. There are other contributing factors (when it rains it pours) but I don't want to get overly revealing.

 

I have bookmarked this thread and all the wonderful words to look back on in hard times. Good night brothers, and God bless.

Anonymous ID: 5fbdf9 Sept. 15, 2018, 2:04 a.m. No.3031223   ๐Ÿ—„๏ธ.is ๐Ÿ”—kun   >>1233 >>1235 >>1237 >>1248 >>1251 >>1255 >>1418

>>3031190

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>>3030903

 

I'm unwinding with an old favorite show, had tried to go to bed, but was compelled to come back here and I am so beyond overwhelmed at these responses. Not quite NK Summit level tears, but you guys have given me a gift I cannot thank you for tonight. I will be going through this thread again tomorrow and writing down the wonderful advice and get back into it. Some things I have done and had success with before, and you all make it clear I need to get back on the horse.

 

And I'm sure there are many, many other silent brothers in arms here who really needed to hear this compassion tonight. This is why I fight.

 

We all have a 100% survival rate. We are all beautiful people working each day to become better and put good out into the world.

 

Where we go one, we truly do go all. I've never been more certain of how united we are. That is a powerful thing.

 

<3