in the middle of a war
in a war zone you are
larping paranoia.
If you have some time
watch a movie called . . .
"The Stunt Man"
A guy escapes from . . .
and is hired as . . .
It's a good movie
and may be appropos
to what you are going through.
If nothing else watching it will keep you
from filling the bread with your sob story.
I don't want to give a spoiler, but
in the movie I see you as a character
named 'lucky' (a nickname)