I'll bet that she wears large shiny red shoes and baggy pants.
Oh, there are, they're just pointed at the opposite side.
A witness under oath commits perjury by making a statement in a court or other proceeding that the witness knows is not true. The statement must be "material" to the subject of the proceeding, meaning that it must have some relationship to the lawsuit, investigation, or inquiry of the proceeding.
This makes it easy to weed out the crazies.
Are her glasses even real?