Caregiver-anon here for my mother. Some days like today are really. bad. I am mostly a lurker from the beginning and sometimes contributor. Maybe letting this out to you all so I might sleep tonight. My mom did not deserve her debilitating stroke 30 years ago and I have sacrificed career, family and children of my own to keep her alive. They told me 30 years ago they had no idea how long she would live and we are still here. It is not easy when everyone is against you, especially the doctors and close family(sibling), but we have done good despite the odds. Yet the healthcare system is worse than ever now and so hard to deal with, almost like they want the elderly to die off earlier. It feels as though it was done intentionally to us who had so much hope for a successful career and life only to be taken down too soon. My poor young disabled mother whose husband left her 10 years earlier for someone younger.
Why does our country let our loved parents die so early from preventable mistakes and preventable reasons? Is there truly something to be hopeful for or is it beyond our lifetime? When did we Americans start accepting this awful treatment. Can any caregivers care from the position of strength and not desperation and begging? I have lost all family and friends because everyone in America thinks nursing homes crawling in deadly bacteria and infections is where to put parents. I have always believed family is most important, but it does not work very well when the rest don't and they dump everything on us to care for the elderly. Don't any of them see or understand what would have happen if I actually put her away 30 years ago? 20 years ago? 10 years ago? 5 years ago? today?
Today was a bad day that did not need to happen if the doctors would take one minute of time and listen. I worked and work so hard 24 hours day to do right by her of which she deserves 100% for being a great lady and yet a doctor or hospital can make a tiny mistake and she gets a hospital acquired infection which is almost impossible to get rid of for the elderly. 3 years later I am finally told of this where as if I had known earlier then I would have made extraordinary precautions to never let it get out of hand. If it is preventable then do everything to prevent it I believe. Why accept anything less?
Rarely does President Trump bring up family caregivers, maybe Veterans caregivers but not just good old American family caregivers (especially us women). I will pray something is going on behind the scenes to give us caregivers more strength and confidence to continue through the inadequate healthcare options we currently have. I have/had a good education that could have been put to good use and I could have contributed to a retirement fund but that would have meant a much shorter life for my mother. Now I am dirt poor with no retirement and most likely to old to hire.
At the end of my bad day I was lucky to catch President Trump to give me the extra bit of energy I was so lacking….
As he said in Kansas tonight speaking about all our ancestors and Kansas too, (in my case the mayflower.). ..
"They did not have a lot of money, they did not have a lot of luxury, but they all had one thing in common, they loved their families, they loved their country and they loved their God. These courageous patriots did not shed their blood, sweat and tears so that we could sit at home while others try to erase their legacy and destroy our proud and great America heritage. For the sake of our freedom and for the sake of our children, we are going to work, we are going to fight and we are going to win win win.
We will not bend, we will not break, we will never give in , we will never give up, we will never back down, we will never surrender and we will always fight on to victory. Because we are American and our hearts bleed red, white and blue. We are one people, one family, and one glorious nation under God, and together we will make America wealthy again, we will make American strong again, we will make America safe again, and we will make America Great again."