For eyes that would see.
If ever we met tangibly, you're due a hug. Light to you, light always. This tether between some of us, I hope it only grows stronger.
Theory:
The Albigensian/Templar massacres by the Catholic church, in which the Gnostic spiritual practice was supposed to be eradicated.
https:/ /en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albigensian_Crusade
There is evidence the Templar were, at that time, a burgeoning competitive world power to the Catholic church with huge, powerful ties to Venice and France.They even declined participation in the Cathar crusade, very likely indicating alliance if not being essentially parts the same organization.
When the catholic church tried to wipe them out their spiritual practice, which was a fusion of Hermeticism, Christianity, Islam, Judaism and others as well, it had to go underground.
It has taken a very long time for outsiders to catch on. The Tarot is not a toy. It's not a fortune telling kit. It is the lost, great spiritual work of the Cathar civilization and their symbolic, spiritual, psychological gift to the world.
There are overt christian symbols but so much more beneath. It is a psychological encyclopedia for self-reflection and enlightenment.
Referenced here are the restored Marseille Deck, by Alejandro Jodorowsky, released by camoin. It is the eldest, most historically researched deck designed today. The original design of which, while unknown, is likely well before 1370.
Later decks have much more occult symbolism E.g. Rider Waite. These aren't true to the original design.
The light will take back what belongs to the light.
I was wholly dedicated to science and atheism until I had finally learned enough about quantum physics and noetics to understand that consciousness, a form of energy that interacts with other energies, behaves non-locally because it is a wave. Waves propagate non-deterministically.
A part of your being is physically incorporated into your brain, we generally call this the lower mind, generally it is the "conscious" mind. The higher mind, responsible for insight, intuition, deep dreams, a feeling of connectedness, spiritual epiphany, Oxycontin production, math, geometry, sophisticated pattern recognition.
Well, people are in general more miserable and suicidal without spirituality in their life. They often become troubled with addictions and hideous, nihilistic world perspectives that make them feel like proselytizing others toward negativity and hopelessness.
No soul here besides you is responsible for your spiritual journey. It's like we're all mathematicians and you're clamoring on about how stupid we are and numbers are all just "in our heads".
Mankind isn't evil, some of it is.
Spreading misery and defeat and acting like you know better than so many people…why, you must be incredibly smart. Smart enough not to lower yourself to enter these sorts of topics and engage with us dim-witted lamen.
A better forum might be a circle jerk where everyone congrats each other about being aware of the oblivion they face when they die and the zero purpose they possess in life.
There's actually a lot of those to choose from on Reddit.
I have both felt the lack of and the presence of the divine you describe. It is there if you'd look for it and walks with peace, unity, love, wonderful feelings and experiences. This life, this pain, these concerns are transitory.
Imagine if you will that souls, thoughts, mental constructs evolve and propagate just like organic beings. These things can't be destroyed, they merely transform and incarnate over, and over into us living beings.
We're a never-ending dance of light and matter, the divine multiplies, becomes varied, recombines.
We're the universe experiencing itself subjectively.
Love and light to all of you.
You still don't come off as too cheerful to me.
And you're still not proving any points.
And you're still arguing with us fools.
What if I asked nicely?
Please leave?
Please don't gift us with your insight.
It's simply too painful.
My denial of humankind's inherent evil has got me in a state of overwhelming cognitive dissonance.
Oh no, reality is a mistake.
Consciousness is a freak accident and has no bearing on anything.
Life is a mistake.
We're all just a terrible fuckup….
….Ok…are they gone?
Good!
We can stop wallowing in shit now.
We can get back to work.
Light and love to you all. Even you. Especially you.
Thought this was relevant to share
Two more cubes at ground zero.
Adrenaline can cause rage/bizarre feelings that feel external in origin.
Some people think there is negative inclined consciousness that feeds off of our suffering, trying to induce suffering.
Deep down you are immortal and an aspect of God's own being. The Hindus call this immortal self "Atma". Together we are Brahma.
I have had many attacks, many many adrenaline fueled nightmares. Adrenaline can cause visual distortions as it metabolizes, this can make your hands look strange and distances skew.
If you're having a panic attack/adrenaline attack you make feel a lot of involuntary constriction of neck, back, arm, leg muscles.
Also terrible pain and emotional collapse.
If this is recurring I suggest CBD Cannabis if it is available to you or otherwise get help for panic.
In the meanwhile, in the middle of panic attacks begin praying immediately and know that this attack is temporary.
My prayer was "I am seeking Atma, the true self. This is only temporary, this is just a storm that is passing."
Sometimes I would repeat that until the storm was gone. Best of luck, you're not alone.
You have the power to heal yourself.
During the worst attack I visualized a cloud of consuming darkness around my person like an angry swarm of vicious insects. I thought it felt like something alien to me. In horror, instinctively I said in my mind "You're not me, in Christ's name get away from me."
I visualized Christ's face and a temple snapped shut around this shadow presence, holding it and securing it. I had been practicing visualizing the Parthenon and for some reason it had appeared at this time as a cage, trapping the shadow. I had been having a serious attack for some time but in my mind's eye I cast that shadow, and it's cage into some pit of flame and felt relief.
Visualization techniques like this and prayers are how I've learned to fight it.
It's a vast world out there, be prepared always to fight with mind, body, soul.
Love and light to you all.
Don't ever give up on life whilst never fearing death. Even if we die death will be just another experience to learn from. This life is an experience to learn from, an opportunity to be challenged and to be tested. This life is an opportunity to make good choices, to endure great struggles, to be forged from lumps of metal into a blade. You're going to be ok. Take the very best care of yourself that you can and ask good people around you for help too.