>>384807

You're getting some weird answers here so keep it simple as you sort out things.

Even when having a good guide who protects you, the transition from where you are to where you want to be can be painful if you're not prepared for it. A good preparation is to have a solid grounding in things which do not change over time.

1. The Book of John is one of a few "eternal" books within the Bible, meaning its structure and meaning goes deeper than even other parts of the Bible. Isaiah is another one, but that is definitely the deep end of the pool, ie very hard to understand at first. If you're just starting out, read John as much as possible so that you have a good internal grasp of the most immoveable spiritual foundation.

1. Daily meditation may seem useless or tedius at first, but as you get into the rythm, you will build a solid jump-off and return- point for spiritual adventures that will eventually happen. Start with a single minute per day. When you can do that reliably every day, move to 5 minutes, and then by that time you'll personally appreciate what it's doing in your life and can take it as deep as you want. How to meditate? What you're doing is quieting your mind (and eventually heart) and learning how to LISTEN to the will of heaven which speaks to everyone always, which somehow you lost connection to (since all children have access to this). Learn to set down your daily concerns, put them aside for a little while, they'll come back. Listen to birds, crickets, nature, etc, to learn how to extend your hearing outward. Leave off all the breathing advice people give, it results in a body-oriented meditation which doesn't go as deep as the one centered on listening with your heart, which is where you literally connect to heaven. Pray "thy will be done" to the greatest "Thy" you can imagine, believe that He hears you immediately but is always going to protect your free will, which can limit his ability to answer immediately until you're ready. Then, throughout your day, keep your eyes and ears open for "the first answer." It could come from anywhere at any time. The first answered prayer you ever receive – in a way visible only to you – is a remarkably powerful experience because then you know that God is real in a way that makes everything in your seeking much easier.

1. Keep yourself virtuous, eating good quality food and self-limiting access to things that spiritually drag you down. Study wise people like Marcus Aurelius to guide your righteousness if the Bible seems obscure or you were taught badly with it.

1. You're not being shat on by the universe at large. Your position is not common, but it happens. Look at people like Kierkegaard, St. Augustine, even Paul, who were pretty much spiritual losers until one day they woke up. You understood and agreed this brick stage would happen before you were born, for purposes that your spirit fully understands, even if your soul and body haven't figured it out yet. Keep going.