Anon, stay strong, one day at a time. I've been sober for more than 31 years and if you asked me, back then, if that would be possible I would have said, "no." But if we focus on the more important things in life – and pray for the courage to change the things we can – the mind-numbing things take on far, far less significance. Your mother deserves to see you sober and happy. One day your mom will be gone and, believe me, you will cherish all the days you had with her. I still live in agony over the loss of my parents, but I live to fight hard to make them proud. Take things one day at a time and you will continue to change your life and change the world. Never give up, as President Trump says. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever give up. https:// www.amazon. com/Trump-Never-Give-Up-Challenges/dp/0470190841