In regards to Michelle Obama's dick: I think she is a she, but I think the swinging package that can be spotted under her dress at times could be what is known as a Nation Sack, from the African-American folk-magic tradition called hoodoo.

From www.luckymojo.com:

"The beliefs and customs brought to America by African slaves mingled here with the beliefs, customs, and botanical knowledge of Native Americans and with the Christian, Jewish, and pagan folklore of European immigrants. The result was hoodoo."

From www.luckymojo.com/nationsack.html:

"A nation sack is a special kind of mojo hand, conjure bag, toby, or root bag – similar to a jomo or jack ball – but it is a charm that is only carried by women. Its basic use is in spells of female domination over men or to keep a man faithful and make him generous in money matters."

"back in the day when women always skirts and dresses, the nation sack was hung from a belt at the waist, not hung from around the neck. This placed it and its content near to its owner's privates, which is magically important, because the nation sack contains items of the woman's husband or lover which she wishes to keep under her control."

This seems plausible and interesting given the crumbs to "follow the wives," the theme of female domination over men in current leftist agenda, as well as the fact that she obviously has something swinging around between her legs.

The bag carries a special assortment of roots and herbs, plus your target's semen, and maybe some personal items. You say some words over it while assembling, and voila, total domination over your man.