Last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
As our passion began to heat up she said, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT?! What was that?!"
She said, "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The next day I took off of work to spend time with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big department store.
I walked around with her as she tried on several very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to go with her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the j3welry counter where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
She was so excited. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet.
I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No baby, I don't feel like it."
Her face went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"
I said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
Just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either