>>3925573 (lb)
We did do for ourselves, for many years. But when we needed her help, to complete the family circle, she refused..she lives in another state, and was angry with my father who admittedly was not the greatest dad, so when he got sick she just outright refused to help us. He had a type of parkinson's and was blind from it.
One day early on, trying to get him out of the car, he was falling down and she just sat there, holding her dog, while my elderly mother and I tried to pick up his dead weight. Later, he had a massive heart attack and she did not come. He died 2 mos later. She showed up in time for the funeral, and tried to take over. Just cold and unfeeling.
She is the older one and we expected her to help us. She acted like nothing was happening. Then when my mom got sick, she just stayed away again and let me do the heavy lifting...when she visited, she just sat there, doing nothing, all the time taking $$$ from my mother for her mortgage - every month.