I know this isn't a chat board but fuck I gotta get this out because there's literally no where else and just catching up since mk ultra drops

Whole life I thought I was crazy, lots of trauma, dissociation, only managing to make it through uni etc with self harm til it all came to a head culminating in suicide attempts. Anyway noone understood that I didn't want to kill myself rather I wanted to WAKE UP. I knew this world as we knew it wasn't real, but I didn't understand then. Truly believed at that time that if I 'died' I'd wake up in the 'real' world. How many other poor people have died because of feeling like this and not realising?!

Obviously I didn't succeed thank God. I'm fine now. What saved me was simply getting dogs, quitting drinking and negative people, moving out of the city, stopped listening to music with lyrics and Jesus. Never been a religion fag but Jesus saved me (used to be into occult shit too). Been into conspiracy since I was a kid so I was able to realise what was going on after hitting rock bottom, but man it makes me feel so sad and helpless seeing all the people suffer mental illness in this society