A weird wiki email from ben.sledge@stratfor.com

 

"" If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a

falafel. Just think about that.""

 

Becuase I love you guys and these always make me laugh and I

was compiling these and forgot to send out friday. The first is probably

my fav. And one is particular is for Reva.

(925): i think i just met the girl of my dreams. someone made a serious

statement about rape and she said "pish posh, i love surprise sex"

(480): Lets date for the summer

(815): what?

(480): Dont love me in September.

(434): why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?

(540): you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.

(843): Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true

(843): the red head has a bf

(1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score

(281): How do you jack off and text at the same time?

(1-281): On my iPhone they have an app for that

(209): dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little

dignity

(1-209): nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all

(617): I would do horrible things to your vagina.

(978): Prove it.

(816): She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a

done deal.

(805): she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu

(818): Jake died.

(310): WTF????????? That's how you tell me????

(818): Oops typo. Jake cried.

(207): I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from

someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.

(407): If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a

falafel. Just think about that.

(614): I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone.

Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an

Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy

who wears Affliction t-shirts.

(402): I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked

me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my

debit card.

(817): Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted

from ever dating anyone in that house.

(405): Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then

broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.

(817): I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.

(843): lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.

(404): Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.

–

Ben Sledge

STRATFOR

Sr. Designer

C: 918-691-0655

F: 512-744-4334

ben.sledge@stratfor.com

http://www.stratfor.com

 

https://wikileaks.org/gifiles/docs/16/1668728_best-of-some-texts-from-last-night-.html